Christian Dating: What Does the Bible Say About Purity?

In the Old Testament, the basic sense of the Hebrew word for purity is probably an emptying out or being clean according to biblestudytools.com. Purity consists of “clean hands” (Gen 20:5), innocence (Psalm 26:6 ; 73:13), and an “empty stomach” (Amos 4:6).

In a world filled with confusion and mixed messages about relationships and intimacy, navigating dating as a Christian can be especially challenging when it comes to living out purity.

And especially because in today’s world, we live in a highly sexualized culture where waiting to have sex until marriage is often seen as countercultural.

But what does the Bible say about purity in dating? How can we apply these teachings in our daily lives? And How can holiness bring us closer to God?

Purity According to the Bible

While the Bible doesn’t specifically mention “dating,” it clearly sets a standard for purity in relationships. 

God’s Will is for YOU to be Sanctified

It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable.

Thessalonians 4:3-5

Marriage Bed Kept Pure

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

Hebrews 13:4

In these scriptures, we see that God places value on sanctification, the sanctity of marriage, and purity before marriage. 

They reinforce the importance of establishing a strong foundation of purity in dating relationships. 

By doing whatever we can to follow these principles, we honor not only our future partners but also God’s design for love and intimacy. 

This commitment to purity sets the stage for a relationship built on trust, respect, and a shared pursuit of holiness.

Purity of Heart and Action

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

matthew 5:28

In this verse, Jesus is trying to tell us that purity goes beyond outward behavior, it first starts in the heart and mind.

Lustful thoughts are as damaging as sinful actions, and Jesus challenges us to maintain purity not only in what we do, but also in what we think and desire. 

It’s a call to guard our hearts and minds from anything that would lead us away from God’s standard of holiness. 

The Importance of Purity in Relationships

Purity isn’t just about abstaining from behaviors, but a way to glorify God with our entire being.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

MATTHEW 5:8

When we pursue purity, we align our lives with God’s holiness, allowing us to experience a deeper connection with Him. When we sin, we separate ourselves from Him and can feel distant. Choosing purity in our thoughts, words, and actions is a powerful way to glorify God and honor his perfect design for our lives.

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20

The main word translated “flee” in the New Testament is pheugo, which means to run away or escape. Flee is an action and it is important as Christians that we actively avoid situations that could lead us to sin. Honoring God with our bodies at every turn.

Practical Tips

Set Boundaries

Establish clear boundaries in your dating relationship. This includes physical, emotional, and spiritual boundaries. Communicate these boundaries openly with your partner at the beginning so that you are on the same page and unified in Christ.

Accountability

Seek an accountability partner or couple that you look up to and have strong convictions. People who share your values and can support you in your commitment to doing things God’s way. When challenges come up, they can hold you accountable.

Be Aware of Satan’s Schemes

Be Aware of Satan’s Schemes: Identify situations that may lead to compromising your values. For example, being alone in private settings for long periods or engaging in activities that lead to physical temptation.

Focus on Friendship

Build a strong emotional connection with your partner but also have fun and get to know each other’s personalities! Find new ways to ask questions and take the focus off physical intimacy. Dive into each other’s values, dreams, and goals. Focus on protecting each other’s hearts.

Power of Prayer in Relationships

Take time to pray alone and together, asking God to prevent the enemy from gaining a foothold in your life and relationships. 

Pray for protection, that you would honor and treat each other as God’s sons and daughters, reflecting His love and glory in all you do. 

Through prayer, we can safeguard our hearts, strengthen our bonds, and ensure that God remains at the center of our lives and relationships.

Additional Resources

  1. “The Pursuit of Holiness” by Jerry Bridges
  2. “Prayer: Experiencing Awe and Intimacy with God” by Timothy Keller
  3. “Mere Christianity” by C.S. Lewis
  4. “Sacred Marriage” by Gary Thomas
  5. Article: 6 Convictions for Christian Dating
  6. 5 Red Flags in Christian Dating

By Sarah Murray

Avatar photoSarah Murray has been an active church member since 2012 and graduated from Salem State University in 2016, majoring in Graphic Design with a minor in Advertising. She openly shares her personal journey, hoping that by doing so, it becomes a source of inspiration for others to understand God’s love better and connect with Him. In her free time, she enjoys traveling to new places, reading, playing volleyball, and spending time in nature.

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