We can’t do life alone ladies, we need spiritual friendships!
We thrive on connection, support, and camaraderie, especially when it comes to our spiritual growth.
However, letting people into our lives can be incredibly difficult. Often, the fear of being judged, criticized, or disapproved of, makes us hesitant to get too close to others. As a result, we build emotional barriers.
As women, our emotional complexity can be overwhelming, making us experience a multitude of feelings simultaneously. This emotional depth can lead to challenges in our relationships, causing insecurity and fear.
It’s a rare and special individual who can penetrate these emotional defenses and become a cherished friend.
Contents
The Why Behind My Fears
In my journey through life, I’ve encountered numerous acquaintances, but only a select few have earned the title of “best friend.” These cherished individuals are the ones I’ve allowed into the innermost chambers of my heart, where they truly know and understand me.
I know now as an adult that I only let a few people in because I felt like I was defective and that I wouldn’t be a good friend, I was also very shy, introverted, and liked being by myself.
Can some of you relate?
Any introverts in the house?
What Defines a Friend?
Merriam-Webster Dictionary Definition of Friend: A favored companion who helps or supports you; A person you are attached to by affection or esteem.
Urban Dictionary Definition of a True Friend: A true friend is someone who has touched your heart and will stay there. Someone you care for, who cares for you.
How does the Bible Define Friend?
Philia (φιλία): This Greek term is often translated as “brotherly love” and is closer to what we understand as friendship.
Scriptures About Friendship
John 15:13: “Greater Love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”
Proverbs 17:17: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
As women, we yearn for deep, intimate friendships filled with so much love that we would sacrifice anything for each other. However, such relationships are rare. More often, we have acquaintances instead.
God is Not Calling Us to Be Acquaintances
Dictionary.com definition of an acquaintance: someone recognized by sight or someone known, though not intimately: a casual acquaintance.
Acquaintances do not fulfill God’s plan for friendship. He knows that we need more than that. He designed us specifically to need one another and to love one another.
Tips on How to Grow in Your Friendships
I believe that the key to deepening your friendships is to start by growing in your understanding of how to follow Christ.
When I started to follow Christ, I began to grasp His love and His perspective on people. This love brought Him close to others and transformed my friendships.
Reflecting on the story of the woman with the alabaster jar who approached Jesus, we find profound lessons, if you read closely:
When one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.
When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.”
Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.”
LUKE 7:36-39, 44-47
So what does this have to do with friendship?
As I learned to follow Jesus, I started to see through His eyes. I learned to view people differently, without judgment. This transformation began when I studied the Bible with women in this church. They extended Christ’s love to me.
I shared things I was ashamed of, expecting shock and disgust. But instead, they understood and related to me. They didn’t judge me but helped me grow and change. They believed in me, saw the good despite my faults, and helped me see God’s love through their actions.
Through this, I experienced the depth of intimacy and friendship possible when we see through Christ’s eyes. When we believe in, help, and love others.
Being aware of my own weaknesses made me more patient with others. How can you look down on others when you recognize your own flaws? Seeing myself clearly allowed me to see others more clearly. I can’t imagine looking down on anyone; I see us as equals on this journey of life. We’re all works in progress, none of us has ‘arrived.’
Paul Preached Unity and Togetherness
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.
Ephesians 4:1-6,11-16
While Paul was in chains, writing his letter to the Ephesians, he conveyed a profound sense of urgency. You can almost hear it in his words: “I urge you…” Despite his imprisonment, Paul passionately called the Ephesians to live in a manner worthy of their calling.
National Institute of Health Ligament Definition: often connect two bones together, particularly in the joints: Like strong, firmly attached straps or ropes, they stabilize the joint or hold the ends of two bones together. This ensures that the bones in the joint don’t twist too much or move too far apart and become dislocated.
The church will become dislocated, twisted, and bent if each supporting ligament does not do its work to love and be united!
It will break without true spiritual friendships where we are speaking the truth in love, as it says in Ephesians 4:15.
Challenge Each Other to Grow
We need to go deeper spiritually with one another and call each other higher so that we are not tossed back and forth by the world’s deceitful scheming.
The world wants you to be a part of it, separated from the life of God—hard-hearted, ignorant, full of greed, impure, bitter, slanderous. The list goes on and on!
But a spiritual friend will build you up, be there for you in your darkest times, forgiving, compassionate, like Christ.
Think about your darkest time for a second. Imagine going through that completely alone. It’s dark. No friends, no family, nobody who really cares.
Unfortunately, some of us have experienced that dark and lonely feeling, and I am so sorry for that because I know how it feels. But know that you were never truly alone—God was there with you, even when you just couldn’t hold on.
After becoming a Christian, those times weren’t as dark and lonely. I now have spiritual friendships and a whole church community. One body of Christ sustains me, keeps me faithful, and keeps me going on.
God’s Call to Love Others
I was in a very serious car accident, and by the grace of God, I am here today. Afterwards, I received a new car seat, daily meals, texts, calls, encouragement, wise advice, and doctors’ orders to take two weeks off to rest. I owe it all to God and thank everyone He used to help me through such a dark time. Adriana has been there for me through it all, especially in our darkest moments.
Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
1 JOHN 4:11
Practicals:
- If you’re not a Christian, I encourage you to study the Bible and dig into God’s word to find answers for yourself. Fill out this form, and we will connect with you shortly!
- And if you are a Christian, you have the privilege of being in the body of Christ, but go home and think about how you can become a better friend/ligament that the Bible calls you to be.
