Can you think of a time when you struggled in your faith?
What helped bring you back?
For many teenagers, it’s a process, just like us. It’s not just one moment, but a journey. I’m sure you can relate!
But, as a parent it is hard to let go and trust God with our kids.
A teenager will go through many transitions in high school as they search for their identity and find their own personal relationship with God.
Often, what brings someone back to God is their relationships, compassion, open communication, and validation of their feelings.
We need to remember as parents that they all have their own journeys.
Contents
Drifting is an Important Part of a Teen’s Spiritual Journey
The reality is, most teens will drift from their parents’ faith at some point.
That drifting can be painful, but it’s often an important part of their spiritual journey.
A woman at church’s story is a powerful example…
Healthy and Unhealthy ways to Respond to Drifting
There were both healthy and unhealthy ways her mom responded during her time of drifting in high school:
- The unhelpful side was rooted in control: her mom took La Micia’s decisions very personally and tried to manage her outcomes.
- The helpful side came when her mom met her where she was, being present instead of applying pressure or shaming.
Drifting, while difficult, allowed this teenager to personally encounter God. That season is now part of her testimony, one that protects her from returning to the same struggles.
She owns her faith now, because her mom gave her the space to find it.
Her mom and dad taught her the ways of the Bible and when she was ready, she chose God herself but not through control or pressure.
What to do as a Parent When Your Teen Drifts
How to help a kid see that their lost and in need of God:
- There are ways to help your child recognize their sin, including helping them see how it affects those around them. This can be an important step in building personal conviction.
- They hit rock bottom
What’s Our Role as Parents?
Before the coming of this faith, we were held in custody under the law, locked up until the faith that was to come would be revealed. So the law was our guardian until Christ came that we might be justified by faith. Now that this faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian.
So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.
We are not Jesus for these kids but we can be stewards before Christ comes!
Being parents who set the example of Jesus is what is in our control.
We want to be the best examples that we can be so that they can easily recognize Jesus when they’re ready and recognize who He is and who He isn’t.
Help them respond when the time comes.
Do not Withdraw Love and Attention
These teens have big emotions and they already feel so much rejection at school and one of the biggest gifts as a parent that we can give them is consistent unconditional love.
That love will help them see Christ.
Reflection: When do you feel most tempted to withhold love and affection?
The efforts that you are making now are not empty. God sees it and your kids see it. They may not say it, but they see it.
Their faith needs to become their own.
Putting pressure on them can lead to silence.
Reflection: What did your parents do well and not so well?
Healthy Fear and Unhealthy Fear As a Parent
Fear without faith looks like:
- Controlling instead of guiding
- Forcing instead of shaping
- Dictating instead of loving
Control doesn’t help them learn, it undermines their self-esteem and confidence.
We as parents, can’t short cut spiritual growth.
Fixing is not listening.
Sometimes they just have very strong emotions and they don’t always need a solution. They may just need a listening ear.
But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.
Always be prepared to give an answer to your kids when they have questions about the Bible and God.
But, answer with gentleness and respect.
Choose Jesus and don’t focus on winning the fight with your kids!
Our kids seeing us read our Bibles and praying everyday is very important in modeling Jesus to them.
Also, showing hospitality at home and including them in that process to serve when guests are over.
Show God in your marriage by how you love one another and resolve conflict quickly with apologies and humility.
Parenting would be SO different if we let go and give our kids to Jesus!
Things to remember
- God is faithful
- You are not alone
- Your work is not in vain
Conclusion
Parenting through your teen’s faith journey requires LETTING GO of control and trusting that God is working even when you can’t see it. Even in the drifting. Your consistent unconditional, Christ-like example, and prayers are never wasted. God sees it all, and He is faithful!
Book Suggestions
“Sticky faith” by Kara Powell and Chap Clark
