As a single woman, dating was often on my mind.
I’d imagine who I might meet, where it would happen, and all the “meet cute” scenarios my hopeless romantic heart could come up with.
But, when I finally began dating six months ago, I discovered that I did not think past the initial sparks and how different that would look…
…especially as a disciple of Christ.
I’m not an expert, but I’ve grown a lot.
Here are five KEY tips that I pray help you!
Contents
1. Keep God at the Center
This is where it all begins. As much as we are dating each other, we’re also each other’s brother and sister in Christ.
Our relationship must reflect that truth:
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
When we seek out the kingdom of God, we are able to be focused on what is important and everything else we would like to see in our relationship will flourish and grow.
When God is truly at the center, our dating looks different from the world’s.
It’s rooted in scripture, accountability, and spiritual growth.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 tells us that two can stand and conquer, but a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
With God, we are strong as a couple. We encourage one another to stay consistent in our personal spiritual disciplines through having quiet times, prayer, fasting, and fellowship with other disciples.
Putting God first reminds us that our relationship isn’t just about our happiness;
it’s about holiness and honoring God together. Though you may not notice, others are continually observing and seeing how the relationship is.
My co-workers are continually shocked at how my boyfriend and I are with each other, but continue to praise us and speak highly of our relationship.
2. Practice Honest and Ongoing Communication
One major lesson I’ve learned is the importance of open, honest, and ongoing communication.
I’ve had moments where I expected my boyfriend to “just know” what I was thinking and got frustrated when he didn’t.
The truth is, no one can read minds. Healthy communication builds understanding. It helps both people grow closer and better navigate the relationship.
The Bible describes love as,
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Being open and honest allows for love to come in these ways.
If we expect the other person to just know how we are doing without communicating, we can demand things in our own ways or allow for irritable opportunities to come.
Communicating these things honestly allows us to love one another with patience and respect.
3. Seek Godly Advice
One of the most humbling and helpful things we’ve done is ask other disciples for advice. As the saying goes, “There’s nothing new under the sun.”
Plans fail for lack of counsel,
but with many advisers they succeed.
Other couples have likely faced similar struggles and can offer wisdom, encouragement, and perspective.
Listen to advice and accept discipline,
and at the end you will be counted among the wise.Proverbs 19:20
Through seeking Godly advice, we are able to be stronger together in seeing where we can improve and remain faithful to God and each other.
Inviting others in not only strengthens your relationship but also deepens your connection with the broader spiritual community.
Vulnerability creates space for mutual support, and advice from mature disciples helps us stay focused on God rather than our own emotions.
1 Peter 5:5 encourages us to accept the authority of elders and dress ourselves in humility. We will allow for the enemy to cause us to stumble continuously if we are not humbled to seek out advice.
It can be easy to not let others know what is going on and keep things private to portray everything as being good.
We may not want others to see the ugly parts of us. However, being humble allows us to receive grace to be better individually and together.
4. Don’t Leave Space for Sin
Ephesians 5:3-5 paints a clear picture of the Bible’s standard:
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
Don’t forget…Satan is subtle and strategic.
Stay Alert for the Enemy
Did you know you have an enemy fighting for your soul?
That enemy is Satan.
1 Peter 5:8 tells us to stay alert:
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
Staying alert helps us walk in the light and continue to honor God together.
Satan loves to use shame, temptation, and confusion to draw us away from God.
Set Boundaries to Keep the Enemy Away
It’s important to have boundaries and stick to them.
Things like avoiding being alone together in private settings, being mindful of what topics we talk about, and knowing when to take a break during conflict will help to protect our hearts.
We’re not as strong as we think we are and that’s okay. That’s why we need structure and spiritual safeguards.
Resist the Enemy
The Bible tells us to resist Satan, not give in:
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
James 4:7
For example: My boyfriend and I decided not to kiss because we agree that it could lead us into sin.
Each relationship is different but discussing what could lead you both into sin and figuring out a game plan is crucial to keep the enemy away.
5. Have Fun and Enjoy the Moment
Best Pieces of Advice: go at your own pace.
It’s so easy to get caught up in “what’s next”
People can be quick to ask about engagements and marriage then our vision for a family. If our thoughts are on an engagement then marriage then a family, we can lose the joys of being in the present moment with our partner.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us there is a time for everything and a season for every activity.
In this time of dating, we are to be the beauty of now and continue to get to know each other.
Conclusion
Finally, dating should be fun! It’s a time to build memories, explore shared interests, and deepen your friendship. 🙂
Whether it’s a simple date night, a spontaneous adventure, or hanging out with other couples, joy strengthens the bond. Trials will come, but shared joy gives you something to hold onto during the harder moments.
I truly appreciate how much effort my boyfriend puts in to ensure we continue to have fun with each other. I have continued to laugh, share new experiences, and learn so much through all the different dates and time spent together.
Dating as a disciple isn’t about being perfect. It’s about pursuing God together. It’s messy, refining, and beautiful all at once.
I’m still learning, but I hope what I’ve shared encourages others walking a similar path.
Keep God at the center, stay humble, have fun, and remember—you’re not alone in this.
