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“Let’s Unpack” is a Christian Podcast with a radically vulnerable, funny and refreshing approach to the topic of Christian Wellness, Christian Emotional Health and having Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. The Podcast follows the journey of three friends helping each other unpack one another’s schema’s.
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
We believe that Christianity, Faith, Relationships, Emotional Health are inseparable. We want to bring our baggage to the light in an effort to help others on their journey of becoming more like Christ!
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9b
What are Schema’s and How do they relate to “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality”
Schemas, in the context of emotional health and specifically schema therapy, are deeply ingrained beliefs or patterns of thinking that guide how individuals view themselves and the world around them.
These schemas are often developed in childhood and can be shaped by experiences, interactions, and teachings received during those formative years.
This is a field of psychology pioneered by Dr. Jeffrey E. Young and Dr. Janet S. Klosko
Book we refer to a lot: “Reinventing your Life“
Examples of Schemas | Impact on Relationships and Emotionally Healthy Spirituality
🚫 Abandonment/Instability: This schema involves the belief that close relationships are unreliable, leading to expectations that significant others will eventually leave. It’s often rooted in early experiences of loss or neglect.
👤 Mistrust/Abuse: People with this schema expect others to hurt, abuse, deceive, or take advantage of them. It typically develops from experiences of betrayal or mistreatment by those who were supposed to be trustworthy.
🤖 Emotional Deprivation: This schema centers on the belief that one’s primary emotional needs for affection, empathy, and protection will not be met by others. It can stem from a childhood where caregivers were emotionally unavailable.
👑 Defectiveness/Shame: Individuals believe they are defective, unlovable, or unworthy, often leading to deep-seated shame. Such feelings usually arise from significant criticism or rejection in early life.
🏰 Social Isolation/Alienation: This schema involves feeling isolated from the world, different from others, or not part of any community. It’s often experienced by those who felt like outsiders during their formative years.
🎭 Dependence/Incompetence: People with this schema believe they’re incapable of handling daily responsibilities without extensive help, usually due to overprotective or critical parenting.
💔 Vulnerability to Harm or Illness: This schema is characterized by an excessive fear that catastrophe will strike, either through illness, accidents, or natural disasters, often nurtured by overly cautious caregivers.
🔗 Enmeshment/Undeveloped Self: Individuals feel excessively tied to one or more significant others, at the expense of their own autonomy. This schema often arises in families where personal boundaries are not respected.
🎖️ Failure: People with this schema see themselves as fundamentally inadequate in achieving success, often due to a lack of recognition or encouragement regarding their achievements during childhood.
🔄 Entitlement/Grandiosity: This schema leads individuals to believe they are superior to others and entitled to special rights or privileges. It can stem from being excessively pampered or not held accountable in childhood.
🙈 Insufficient Self-Control/Self-Discipline: Characterized by difficulty in exercising sufficient self-control or discipline to achieve one’s goals, often due to a lack of emphasis on these qualities in early upbringing.
🛑 Subjugation: This involves sacrificing one’s own needs and desires to meet the needs of others, under the fear of retaliation or rejection. It’s often rooted in controlling or authoritarian parenting.
🌌 Self-Sacrifice: Individuals excessively sacrifice their own needs to meet the needs of others, often to avoid guilt or to maintain the connection. It typically develops from the belief that others’ needs are more important.
🥇 Approval-Seeking/Recognition-Seeking: The excessive need to gain approval or recognition from others, often at the expense of one’s own genuine needs or desires. It can originate from a lack of unconditional love in childhood.
🏞️ Negativity/Pessimism: Focusing on the negative aspects of life while minimizing the positive, often resulting from a childhood environment where hope and positivity were discouraged.
🎨 Emotional Inhibition: The excessive suppression of spontaneous feelings, actions, or communication, usually to avoid disapproval. This often develops in environments that were highly critical or demanding.
🚪 Unrelenting Standards/Hypercriticalness: The belief that one must strive to meet very high internalized standards, often to avoid criticism. This schema is frequently rooted in pressure to be perfect during childhood.
🧩 Punitiveness: The belief that people should be harshly punished for their mistakes, reflecting an environment where punishment was often severe and forgiveness was rare.
A Podcast Created to Foster Spiritual Health & Christian Wellness for Young Adults
This podcast is insightful, funny, and vulnerable as Guillermo, Bianca and Pat unpack childhood, pattern breaking, embracing curiosity and laughing along the way!
We believe that we are all imperfect, we all need Jesus, we all need support, and healing is never impossible with Christ! Identifying your baggage is just the beginning.
In this podcast, we help each other unpack in order to help each other heal and bring it under the Lordship of Christ.
About the Cast
Guillermo (23) is a college student that is majoring in journalism and has been walking with Christ since 2021. Guillermo is a trend setting icon that reflects Christ. His current schemas that he is working on are: Abandonment & Emotional Deprivation
Bianca (19) is a college student that is currently majoring in art. She has been walking with Christ since 2024. Bianca is super loving and low-key hilarious! Some of the Schema’s she is currently working on healing are: Self Sacrifice & Emotional Deprivation.
Patrick (37) is a Minister at Southern CT Church of Christ (Soconn Church). He has served for 7 years in the Youth & Family Ministry and is now serving the Church at a broader level. The Schema’s he is working on healing are: Self-Sacrifice, Emotional Deprivation with some Mistrust sprinkled in there!
At Soconn Church, we believe in being mental health informed (not experts) Christians is crucial for creating a compassionate & empathetic culture.
Disclaimer: We are not therapists! If you are really struggling please give yourself the gift of healing by seeking mental health support. We highly recommend “Crosspoint Clinical Counseling” as a place to start getting help or looking for spiritual tools as in any true emergency, please call 911.
Empathy Through Curiosity
We want to model empathy and support as we discuss very touchy and taboo topics of our past and present. We believe that the key to fostering an empathetic and supportive environment is to be genuinely curious with no agenda or pre-conceived judgements.
The Power of Seeing Emotional Health & Spiritual Health as Inseperable:
Imagine someone with a “Defectiveness/Shame” schema, which makes them believe they are fundamentally flawed and unworthy of love. This belief may lead them to avoid close relationships for fear of being “found out” and rejected.
Schema: Defectiveness/Shame
- Explanation: This schema involves the belief that one is defective, flawed, or unlovable at their core. It often results in feelings of shame and fear of rejection.
- Origins: It could stem from critical or rejecting treatment by parents, caregivers, or peers during childhood.
- Trigger: This schema might be triggered in situations where the person feels at risk of criticism or rejection, such as in intimate relationships or when receiving feedback.
- Healing from Schema (General): Schema therapy suggests techniques like cognitive restructuring to challenge and change the negative beliefs and emotional healing activities that help process past experiences of shame or criticism.
- Healing in Triggering Situation: Integrating Christian principles, the person is encouraged to meditate on scriptures that affirm their worth and identity in Christ, engage in prayer asking for God’s perspective on their worth, and participate in a faith community that models unconditional love.
- Biblical Character: Moses might have struggled with this schema, feeling inadequate and unworthy to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.
- Struggle: Moses expressed feelings of inadequacy and fear of rejection by questioning his abilities and the Israelites’ willingness to follow him.
- Divine Assistance: God reassured Moses of his chosen status, equipped him with signs and wonders, and provided Aaron as a spokesperson, showing His support and provision.
- Scriptures: Romans 8:1, which talks about there being no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus, can be particularly healing, emphasizing that one’s worth is defined by God, not by flaws or past mistakes.
- Quotes: “Our identity is found in God’s acceptance of us, not in our performance or others’ opinions.” – A sentiment that reflects the core of Christian Integrated Schema Work.
- Books: “Changes That Heal” by Dr. Henry Cloud integrates Christian perspectives with psychological insights, providing a comprehensive guide to addressing issues like shame and defectiveness through faith and therapy.
This integration of Christian faith with schema therapy provides a holistic path to healing, emphasizing the transformative power of understanding one’s identity through the lens of God’s love and purpose.