This article dealing with Church Discipline is speaking to aspects of Church Discipline that rise to the level of disfellowship and how the concept of Church Discipline and Agape love absolutely co-exist.

Contents

How are Church Discipline & Love compatible?
What is the Purpose of Church Discipline?
Why is Church Discipline Necessary?
Church Discipline is intended to:
3 Situations Involving Church Discipline:
Considerations Prior to Disfellowship
Our Attitude (Heart) to someone disfellowshipped
- Having the heart of the Father of the Prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32):
Corporate Response (According to Scriptures)
Why Bring Attention to This?
Isn’t this Judging?
Our Hope
Quotes on Church Discipline
FAQ
Resources:

How are Church Discipline & Love compatible?

Before I share a scripture, I have a question for you. Is the discipline we receive from God and His love for us compatible? We know that “God is Love” so everything he does in our lives must be loving, including discipline! Even as He disciplines us, we know that God loves us!

Discipline does not reflect an absence of love, in fact a lack of discipline from God would prove the fact He does not love us.

Consider the following scriptures:

⁵And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
⁶because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”^[a]

⁷Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father?
Hebrews 12:5-7

Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent.
Revelation 3:19

As a Church, we are here to reflect God’s glory in every way. Unfortunately, sometimes this includes loving discipline based on Biblical guidelines.

We have to admit that all of us come into the Church with our own understanding of what love is and what it looks like to “truly” love someone. Unfortunately our “brands” of love often come from how we were raised and can fall extremely short of God’s picture of love. Some of our past experiences and romantic relationships are proof of the fact that we do not always understand the concept or the practicals of of Agape -love vs. other types of love.

Here is my own working definition of Agape-Love:

“An unconditional & sacrificial commitment to another’s internalization of the agape-love of God”

Formal Church discipline (after all other means are exhausted) is understanding that the sacrifice of agape-love is sometimes being willing to be disliked & persecuted by people we care about as we stand up for God and His truth. Discipline is evidence of our loyalty to God over friends because in order to practice it with people whom you have come to care about means that we love God more than them. This at times can come as a shock to the individual on the receiving end and can be perceived as a lack of love depending on where they are in their spiritual journey.

Godly Discipline & Church Discipline, when done in accordance with the Word of God, are not a lack of love, it is the proof of our love!

This is an incredible act of love because the truth is we really do not want to do it! Yet, at times we must, because we love God and the person.

Many of us are uncomfortable with being disliked or worse, accused of being “judgemental Christians”. When we do not use Church Discipline, we are actually more likely to become “judgemental Christians” (in the negative sense) since not dealing with outstanding sin will produce resentment in our hearts and in the hearts of our Church. As much as we would like to sweep it all under the rug, the bottom line is that there are some situations in the life of the Church that must be elevated to the status of Agape-Church Discipline.

The following is a Biblical teaching on the the What, How and Why of Church Discipline specifically dealing with situations resulting in disfellowship.

What is the Purpose of Church Discipline?

The purpose of is ultimately to reflect God and the tension of Grace & Truth. Church disciple is necessary at times to address grave sin that remains unrepented or to deal with false teaching that actively tries to turn others away from God or sound teachings of the Bible. Behavior warranting church discipline can include persistent sin that is openly unrepentant and causes scandal or division within the church.

When handled correctly, with a Spirit of humility and repentance, church discipline can be incredibly transformative in the life of the Church.

Why is Church Discipline Necessary?

“Congregations exist for “the glory of God”, to be witnesses in the world (“that they may be saved”), and in everything, to be imitators of Christ. When conflict erupts in the church then, there is much more at stake than a resolution of the presenting issue. Congregational conflicts challenge not only the unity of the church, but the congregation‟s identity as the gathered imitators of Christ, and the integrity of their witness in the world.” (Karen Kemp)

Church Discipline is intended to:

Protect the purity of the Church.
Protect the unity of the Church
Lead the individual involved to repentance and reconciliation with God and the church community.

Sometimes we’ve been too hard, to quick to condemn; other times we’ve been too slow to deal with things. Only God’s plan is the best plan and will take everyone to heaven in the long run.
Church discipline, doug jacoby (1994)

3 Situations Involving Church Discipline:

1. Unrepented Sin Rising to Scandal

11 But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister[a] but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.

12 What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13 God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.”[b]
1 Corinthians 5:11-13

This passage instructs the church not to associate with a professing believer who is engaged in flagrant sin and refuses to repent. It concludes with the directive to “expel the wicked person from among you.”

Key Take Aways:

Disfellowship flagrant sin that includes a refusal to repent. No one is perfect and without sin, the difference is an attitude of repentance.
This list might not be exhaustive, but rather a description of the types of “flagrant sin”

2. Refusal to Reconcile

15 “If your brother or sister sins,go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’[c] 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
Matthew 18:15-17

This is most likely involving a situation where a disciple sins against another disciple (reconciliation). This is a three step process spanning over a relatively short period of time.

This shows that the gathered brothers and sisters are trying to reason with the brother who is reluctant to be reconciled. “Listening” to the church means certain individuals in the congregation are speaking to him. They are more than just witnesses of his/ her warning; they’re active agents in bringing him to repentance!

Key Take-aways:

This scripture involves when we are sinned against in a clear way (not that our feelings were hurt)
Often many people are involved in trying to help (witnesses to the sinful behavior in question)
There is a three step progression to attempt reconciliation not “three warnings”
If there is a refusal to reconcile, the result is swift disfellowship

3. Divisiveness

10 Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them. 11 You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful; they are self-condemned.
Titus 3:10-11

The issues divisive people latch on to are sometimes issues the general church member is ill-equipped to handle: the weak could be hurt, and they must be protected—this is not the situation of Matthew 18.

Two warnings:

i. First warning: initial conversation. Hopefully they repents. Otherwise,
ii. Rebuke them again—as a church leader. (If they fails to repent, the result is disfellowship)

Usually this would be the same day. Not weeks or months later. Divisiveness is far too deadly a sin to dilly-dally around with for more than a day or two!

Click here for scripture references for the above graphic

Divisiveness IS
– Defiantly opposing the leadership of the church (2 Timothy 3.8-9, 3 John 10, Numbers 16).
– Breaking off to start your own group (Depending on reasons*) – Acts 20.30, – Romans 16.17-18, 1 John 4:1, 2:19
– Maliciously gossiping, holding aloof and forming a clear faction (3 John 9-10).
– Teaching false doctrine related to the major areas of the faith (2 Timothy 2.18, 2 John 9).
– Refusing to stop engaging in useless controversies (Titus 3.9).

Divisiveness is not:
– Offering suggestions to the leadership of the church or having reservations about teachings or practices of the church. Disagreeing is not the same thing as being divisive.
– Offering a personal criticism to a church leader. We dish it out and we need to be able to take it. Channels need to be kept open and the “right of appeal” must be preserved for our people to keep their sense of confidence in their leaders.
– Honestly seeking answers to questions of conscience (Romans 14).
– Disagreeing, on biblical grounds, with a doctrine or practice (Galatians 2.11).
– Being lethargic, lukewarm, awkward or even less than zealous in support of the leaders and activities of the church. No one is perfectly consistent. Neither does sin in general qualify. We all struggle with sin (James 3.2), so if all sin is defined as causing “division” in the body of Christ then “divisiveness” becomes a meaningless term. Of course, the idle should we warned (1 Thessalonians 5.14).
Resource:
https://www.douglasjacoby.com/church-discipline/

Considerations Prior to Disfellowship

1. The Nature of the Sin

The nature of the sin: Would non-Christians tolerate this?

“Actually, it is reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that even pagans do not tolerate: A man is sleeping with his father’s wife.” (1 Corinthians 5:1 NIV)
Would this behavior be tolerated at your job, school or team or would this lead to intervention even in “worldly” settings?

2. The Attitude of the Individual

The attitude of the individual: Do they wan’t to “get well”?

The attitude of the individual towards their sin is crucial. In John 5:6, Jesus asks a man who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years if he wants to get well, indicating the importance of the individual’s desire for healing and change. We are not able to make people change who do not wish to or do not see their need to.

An attitude of wanting to get well means that the individual is not combative to loving attempts at support, they welcomes guidance from trusted counselors, and they demonstrate their desire to get well not just with words, but with actions as well.

Think of Paul’s instructions on “Godly Sorrow”:

⁸Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while— ⁹yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. ¹⁰Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. ¹¹See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter. ¹²So even though I wrote to you, it was neither on account of the one who did the wrong nor on account of the injured party, but rather that before God you could see for yourselves how devoted to us you are. ¹³By all this we are encouraged.
2 Corinthians 7:8-13

3. The Impact on the Community

The impact on the community: Has it caused a lot of hurt in the community?

in 1 Corinthians 5:6, where Paul warns about the influence of sin within the church: “Your boasting is not good. Don’t you know that a little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough?”

“1 Corinthians chapter five is about sins against the church and the appropriate response to public sins. A person who commits public sins in the church should be “disfellowshipped” by the church. In this sense, the church should not “forgive” the sin against the church until the person who sinned has humbled himself and repented.”
John Oakes

4. Have all other Measures Been Exhausted?

Have all other measures been exhausted?

Private conversations (Matthew 18:15)
Prayer (James 5:16)
Gentle Correction (Galatians 6:1)
Bring in one or two others (Matthew 18:16)
Seek counsel from Church Leadership (Acts 15:2)
Biblically warning, admonishing, challenging (Titus 3:10-11)

Notes: Depending on the nature of the sin, you may not be able to use all of these methods. If the sin is egregious, it may require swift disfellowship. In the case of the sexually immoral brother in 1 Corinthians 5:11-13, we see no mention of warnings or any “3-step process” in dealing with his sin. Logically this makes sense. The Church is not bound by a 3 step process in all sin situations.

To use a radical example in making this point, imagine for example the sin is murder, do you think a 3-step process is appropriate?

Matthew 18 is dealing more with a refusal to reconcile and 3 attempts to reconcile between disciples (when one clearly has sinned against the other). In the case of Matthew 18, If one of the two is unwilling to reconcile after three attempts are made, it essentially proves that they are in no way behaving like a Christian since Jesus died for us while we were still sinners. This ultimately results in the removal from the fellowship of the one refusing to reconcile.

5. Was Group Discernment Involved?

The involvement of the church community in the discernment process is also seen in the passage from Matthew 18:16, where it is advised to take one or two others along to establish the matter by the testimony of witnesses, which implies a form of group discernment.

Having others involved is wise because these situations can become very personal and we are all human. Leadership teams and the individuals involved should move in unity & humility.

Concluding Thoughts: Church discipline is typically considered when there are persistent, unrepentant behaviors that are clearly against biblical teachings and have the potential to harm the individual or the church community or rises to the level of scandal.

Helpful article on discerning God’s Will:

https://www.teachicoc.org/general-interest/discerning-gods-will

Our Attitude (Heart) to someone disfellowshipped

Having the heart of the Father of the Prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32):

Not controlling return (respect their free will) V11-12
Desiring return (Still a long way off) V20
Celebrating return (Kill the fattened calf) V23
Removing shame (robe, sandals, ring) V22
Vouching for them (conversation with older son) V31-32

When someone is disfellowshipped is as much of a test for us as it is for them. We have to be on guard against Satan’s attempt to harden our hearts toward people since we know that they are not our true enemy.

¹²For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Ephesians 6:12

Corporate Response (According to Scriptures)

How should I behave toward someone who has been disfellowshipped or has left refusing to repent or be reconciled?

In the case of a brother/sister that refuses to reconcile

3 attempts at reconciliation then swift disfellowship.

“Treat them as a pagan or a tax collector”

A change in relationship
Was my brother/sister and is now someone that needs Christ
Disfellowshipped, but not completely cut off (Jesus interacted with pagans and tax collectors). Use group discernment here.

In the case of divisiveness:

2 warnings then disfellowshipped. After that

“Have nothing to do with them”

After multiple warnings, if a person continues to be divisive, the church should cease to associate with them in a church context to prevent further disruption to the congregation’s unity and health.

The passage from Titus is about church fellowship and is not necessarily a prescription for all social interactions, but we believe it would apply to at the very least all formal forms of fellowship

In the case of unrepentant egregious sin (scandal)

“Do not even eat with such people”

The instruction “With such a man do not even eat” is a call for the church to practice a form of discipline by not associating with the person in a close or familiar manner, which in the cultural context of the time would include sharing meals. This form of social distancing was intended to convey the seriousness of the sin and the need for repentance. It was not meant to be punitive for its own sake but rather restorative, aiming to bring the individual to a recognition of their wrongdoing and to encourage them to change their behavior.

These instructions are not about being unloving or unkind; rather, it’s about maintaining the purity and integrity of the church. By not associating with someone who is persistently engaging in serious sin without repentance, the church is sending a clear message that such behavior is not acceptable for those who are part of the Christian community. It’s a form of Agape love intended to bring the person to a point of realization and repentance.

Paul’s concern is for the spiritual health of the individual and the community. The idea is that tolerating blatant sin can have a corrupting influence on others and damage the witness of the church. It’s important to note that this instruction applies to those within the church who are not living according to Christian standards, not to those outside the church (1 Corinthians 5:12-13).

Why Bring Attention to This?

Although it is not a biblical requirement to make a public announcement, it is at times necessary depending on the situation and the sin.

“Take note of them”

14 Take special note of anyone who does not obey our instruction in this letter. Do not associate with them, in order that they may feel ashamed. 15 Yet do not regard them as an enemy, but warn them as you would a fellow believer.
2 Thessalonians 3:14-15

The church is instructed to take note of anyone who does not obey the teachings in the epistle and to not associate with them, in hopes that they will feel ashamed and change their ways.

Note: Even in this instructions, we are not to regard them as enemies. This is not personal, this is an act of love.

“I will call attention to what he is doing, gossiping maliciously about us”

I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will have nothing to do with us. So if I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, gossiping maliciously about us. Not satisfied with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church
3 John 9-10

If the church leadership deems it necessary, for the good of the congregation—and for the good of the sinner—to make public what has been done, I think it would be wrong for leadership not to take a public stand.

Isn’t this Judging?

Paul emphasizes that the church is not to judge those outside of it, as God will judge those. However, within the church, there is a responsibility to uphold certain standards of conduct among its members (1 Corinthians 5:12-13). This disciplinary action is to protect the integrity and witness of the church and to help the individual in question come to repentance.

¹²What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? ¹³God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.”
1 Corinthians 5:12-13

Our Hope

Our Hope is that God will bring this person to repentance and we will have the opportunity to comfort them and celebrate their return. As we wait for the holy spirit to move in their hearts and lead to repentance, we must “hold the line”. This is extremely challenging because we love people. Remember that discipline is also love (Hebrews 12) and if we comfort them prior to God doing his work, we might unknowingly undermine the potential transformation.

We get to practice this scripture, only after the individual makes the choice to return to the word of God:

⁶The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient. ⁷Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. ⁸I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.
2 Corinthians 2:6-8

Quotes on Church Discipline

“It is easier to remain a member of the average church today than it is to continue one’s membership in a lodge! If we exercised biblical care and discipline, we would have little or no difficulty in adopting and following the biblical pattern“
Preaching With Purpose,” Zondervan, 1982, p. 76) – Jay Adams

Churches that are lax in discipline are bound to discover sooner or later within their circle an eclipse of the light of the truth and an abuse of that which is holy
Systematic Theology,” Banner of Truth, Carlisle, PA. 1998, p. 578) – Louis Berkhof

The judgment of the Church is the instrument of God’s love, and the moment it is accepted in the sinful soul it begins to work as a redemptive force
The Second Epistle to the Corinthians,” Funk and Wagnalls, 1900, p. 75) – James Denney

We must face the fact that many today are notoriously careless in their living This attitude finds its way into the church… As a result, discipline practically has disappeared
A.W. Tozer

Church discipline is not about punishment, but about restoration. It is a process of helping a fellow believer to repent of their sin and return to fellowship with the body.
J.C. Ryle

Church discipline is necessary because it protects the purity of the church and the well-being of its members
R.C. Sproul

Church discipline is an act of love. It is a way of showing our concern for the spiritual well-being of our fellow believers.
Timothy Keller

FAQ

Do we need to make things known publicly?

– Only if the individual needs to be publicly recognized for the threat he poses (2 Timothy 4.14-15, Revelation 2.20, 3 John 10)
-None of the passages we have seen mentions a “public warning.”
– If the church leadership deems it necessary, for the good of the congregation—and for the good of the sinner—to make public what has been done, I think it would be wrong for leadership not to take a public stand.

What is church discipline?

Church discipline refers to the actions taken by a church community to address and correct the behavior of its members when they stray from biblical teachings. It’s a way to maintain the purity and health of the church body. (Matthew 18:15-17; 1 Corinthians 5:1-13)

What are the steps involved in reconciliation when sinned against?

1. Private correction between the individuals involved (Matthew 18:15)
2. If unresolved, involve one or two others (Matthew 18:16)
3. If still unresolved, tell it to the church (Matthew 18:17)
4. If the member remains unrepentant, treat them as an outsider (Matthew 18:17)

What does it mean to be ‘disfellowshipped’ from the church?

To be expelled from the church means that a person is no longer considered a part of the fellowship and should not participate in the communal aspects of church life. This is a last resort, intended to bring about repentance and restoration. (1 Corinthians 5:2, 13)

Is church discipline about punishment or restoration?

The primary goal of church discipline is restoration, not punishment. It aims to bring the individual to repentance and reconcile them with God and the church community. (2 Corinthians 2:5-8; Galatians 6:1)

Can someone be restored after being disciplined by the church?

Yes, if a person shows genuine repentance, the church is encouraged to forgive and comfort that individual, reaffirming their love for them. (2 Corinthians 2:7-8)

What is the role of forgiveness in church discipline?

Forgiveness is crucial in church discipline. The disciplined individual should be forgiven as Jesus calls us to “love our enemies”. However, they should only be “brought back to the flock” if they repent. We want to strive to have the posture of the father of the Prodigal son when they do return.

How should the church approach divisive individuals?

Individuals who cause divisions after being warned twice should be avoided, as they are self-condemned and will only confuse people. (Titus 3:10-11)

What attitude should we have towards those under church discipline?

The attitude towards those under church discipline should be one of gentleness, watchfulness over oneself, and a spirit of restoration, recognizing that everyone can be tempted. (Galatians 6:1)

Doesn’t the Bible say we should not judge?

1 Corinthians 5:12 (NIV): “What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside?

We are not judging their salvation, but we are judging their behavior A key Greek word in this verse is “κρίνω” (krinō), which means to judge, discern, or decide. This term implies making a judgment based on evaluation and discernment.

Church Discipline is Agape Love

How are Church Discipline & Love compatible?

What is the Purpose of Church Discipline?

Why is Church Discipline Necessary?

Church Discipline is intended to: